My Journey:
From Divorce to Financial Control
Written by Lacy Garcia
In my 30s, I found myself in uncharted waters as my marriage began to unravel. I was successful in my career, a mom to a young boy (and an elderly dog), and suddenly I was facing divorce. I never thought I would be in this position. Navigating divorce shed light on one big area I had not prioritized before: my personal finances. Despite having been in financial services, I struggled to find the answers and the right trusted advisors.
The Initial Shock
Thankfully in my role, I earned a good salary so I was not worried about my income post-divorce; my main concern was the long-term implications of the division of our joint assets.
As I came to grips with this unexpected new reality, I began researching all that I could on how to manage finances post-divorce. Some of the information I found shocked me, including that 34% of divorced individuals reported their ex-spouse lied about assets during their marriage (National Endowment for Financial Education) and the divorce process. I knew I was going to need a strategy and someone to help guide me through this process given the unknowns and complexities of the situation.
Seeking the Help of a Financial Advisor
77%
of women believe that if they had a financial advisor to help them invest, they’d be more confident about their financial future.
FIDELITY INVESTMENTS WOMEN AND INVESTING STUDY, 2021
A Fidelity survey shows that 86% of women agree that having their investments managed by a professional makes life less stressful. Similarly, 77% of women believe they would be more confident with a financial advisor helping them to invest. I definitely found this to be true in my case.
My advisor helped me better understand my current financial picture and identify strategies to best position my personal finances once my divorce was finalized through several key steps:
- We evaluated the complexities of the joint assets, including our bank accounts, home, investment portfolio and we also looked at my stock options. . I began to realize the 50/50 split doesn’t always mean equal value, especially considering tax implications and future growth potential.
- My advisor helped me understand the long-term value of my executive compensation package, including deferred compensation and long-term incentive plans. This was crucial in negotiations.
- We explored the tax consequences of various settlement options. This was eye-opening. Tax implications had never crossed my mind when we were beginning the divorce process. In an article from The Tax Advisor, it’s discussed that higher-net-worth divorcing couples may have other assets, including businesses, rental real estate, and additional personal assets that can be divided. Each of these assets should be reviewed for tax issues and opportunities—having expert guidance here is crucial as there will tax consequences.
- We factored in the costs of additional childcare support as well. As the higher earner in my relationship, I needed to balance childcare responsibilities with my demanding career—something I thought I was handling well, but quickly realized that I would need the added support. Seeing that added line item in my budget helped me feel more prepared to find this new balance as a single working mom.
- We reevaluated my retirement strategy in light of the divorce. This included adjusting contribution levels to my 401(k) and other retirement accounts and reassessing my target retirement age. According to EBRI, divorced women are 30% more likely to worry about having adequate retirement savings, reflecting a lower confidence in achieving a secure retirement.
The Journey to Financial Control
The divorce process really opened my eyes to how little I really knew about my own finances. I made it a priority to educate myself, diving into my investment strategies, risk management, and long-term financial planning. It wasn’t easy, especially with everything else on my plate, but it was something I knew I had to do to protect myself and my child.
If you feel like you are in the same boat, know you are not alone. A 2023 report from USC shows that more than 70% of women said they were interested in receiving financial education. Tellingly, only 20% said they felt relaxed about their financial future. I was determined to equip myself with the knowledge I needed to have confidence moving forward.
Balancing My Career and Personal Life
As any working mom knows, it is tough to balance it all. I had high aspirations for my career—I was looking at a promotion, but I also needed to be there for my child. This was a difficult transition for not just me, but for them as well. I needed to show up and be present for them. I was fortunate to have a strong support network of friends and family that I could lean on. Learning to enforce strong boundaries on my time was crucial during the divorce process. I learned that ruthless prioritization was key. I streamlined my workload, focusing on high-impact projects and delegating where possible. I was able to find others in my professional network who had been through similar experiences who offered invaluable advice and emotional support.
My Finances After Divorce
Now several years post-divorce, everything is different. I have a clear understanding of my assets and investment strategy, a robust retirement plan that accounts for my new circumstances, a comprehensive insurance and estate plan to protect my child’s future, and am now the CEO of my own company! Research shows that nearly 39% of individuals undergoing a divorce believe overall, the decision to divorce has had a positive impact on their job, work, or career. In my case, it was certainly true and helped provide a silver lining to some of the other difficulties of the process.
Lessons Learned from Divorce and Advice for Others
For other breadwinners and professional women facing divorce, I’d offer this advice:
- Don’t assume you can do this yourself. Given the complicated, stressful, and emotional nature of the process, having someone with a clear mind help you approach this is paramount. Please seek specialized help.
- Educate yourself on the full value of your compensation package, including non-cash benefits so you can maximize what is offered.
- Consider the long-term implications of asset division, and go for fair and reasonable in your negotiations. This does not necessarily mean 50/50 in all cases.
- Invest time into your financial education despite your busy schedule. It pays dividends.
About the Author
Lacy Garcia is the Founder & CEO of Willow (trustwillow.com), a platform that connects Women and NextGen individuals with vetted and trusted fiduciary financial advisors. She is mom to her son and elderly dog. living on the North Shore of MA.
About Willow
Willow connects you with vetted financial advisors who truly understand the big moments in life—like buying a home, navigating career changes, or going through a divorce. It’s not just about finding any advisor, but about building a meaningful, long-term relationship with someone who gets your goals and challenges. Using a concierge matchmaking approach, Willow ensures you feel confident and empowered as you plan for whatever life throws your way, making financial advice feel less transactional and more like finding the right partner for your journey.
Below are references for what I have shared:
- National Endowment for Financial Education. “2 in 5 Americans Admit to Financial Infidelity against Their Partner.” *National Endowment for Financial Education*, 16 Nov. 2021, www.nefe.org/news/2021/11/2-in-5-americans-admit-to-financial-infidelity-against-their-partner.aspx.
- Oakley, Diane. *The Retirement Savings Crisis: Is It Worse than We Think?* National Institute on Retirement Security, 3 June 2013, www.nirsonline.org/reports/the-retirement-savings-crisis-is-it-worse-than-we-think.
- Employee Benefit Research Institute. *Women’s Retirement Confidence Suffering from COVID-19 Pandemic’s Economic Impact.* Employee Benefit Research Institute, 8 June 2020, www.ebri.org/docs/default-source/pbriefs/ebri_ib_507_womenrcs-8jun20.pdf?sfvrsn=369a3d2f_4.
- Hyland, Michael M. “The Effects of Divorce on Career Outcomes: Evidence from a National Study.” *Personnel Psychology*, vol. 75, no. 2, 2022, onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/peps.12547.
- Robertson Law Firm. “The Dangers of Dishonesty during Divorce Property Division.” *Robertson Law Firm*, www.robertson-law-firm.com/articles/the-dangers-of-dishonesty-during-divorce-property-division. Accessed 29 Aug. 2024.
- Sobel, Laura. “Dividing Assets When Marriage Ends: Tax Implications.” *The Tax Adviser*, Dec. 2022, www.thetaxadviser.com/issues/2022/dec/dividing-assets-when-marriage-ends-tax-implications.html.
- Schy, Lauren. “Women Face a Financial Literacy Gender Gap.” *USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences*, 8 Mar. 2023, dornsife.usc.edu/news/stories/financial-literacy-gender-gap.
- HelpAge USA. *A New Approach to Gender and Financial Security: Promoting Financial Education for Older Women.* HelpAge USA, June 2023, helpageusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Report-V3-updated.pdf.
